As you might have gathered from my artsy blog layout, I am a dog owner by accident. I have been walking 'Paul' since I happened across him about six months ago. Here's story number one: An encounter from earlier today.
During my lunchbreak I took Paul to a nearby Park. It is really small and not much more than an oval filled with a patch of grass and a small fountain. Anyhow, as I was walking along another dog owner came towards me with his rather largish dog (as a layman I would say some sort of giant Golden Retriever), and they both started sniffing each other.
This went on for about a quarter of a second when the owner, an old man with yellow hair (of the type you get when you are schizophrenic and smoke a lot) started telling me about his dog. Only, it wasn't his dog but belonged to his 'doctor'. I could smell the large amount of booze the guy had already consumed that day. He then went on about the homeless shelter he 'came from' and some social worker's labrador he usually walks during the day. And suddenly he was talking about avalanche dogs and how they've done brilliant work in Haiti.
I realised that under any normal circumstances I would have been trapped for hours (being usually too polite to just walk off). However, I noticed that Paul was pretty over sniffing his new friend's anus and started whimpering sitting at my feet.
I said, "I am sorry, I'd love to keep talking but unfortunately my dog is really bored with what you say."
"Oh really?", the old bum replied. "I wouldn't have thought so."
"Oh, you know... dogs," I said before walking off.
What a revelation this was to me: You can pretend the dog has your thoughts. A brilliant way to escape social entrapments.
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